Preparing for the Oxen Poo Storm

As much as it sounds like something I would write, this isn't an original work of mine.  It is intended for entertainment purposes only.

"And Groundhog poked his head up out of his hole and told them this parable. "There once were two men who prepped. One man put his faith in God and did what he could. He gathered up stores of fine prep gear and food for his family. One day the oxen poo was scattered into the wind and all the people were in dire straits. A crowd gathered at this mans camp and he shared with them. The Lord blessed his efforts and extended his stores, even causing game animals to fling themselves head long into his hunters spears. And thus, they were provided for during the poo storm.


Another man did the same and when the poo storm came, a crowd gathered at his camp as well. He said to them, "Yea and verily I say unto you, scram!" And they scrammed. (seriously, he said it just like that). And he thought to himself, "I shall weather this poo storm well for I have plenty". The next day a band of mutant ninja zombie bikers brigands came and laid waste to his encampment, beat him, and took all his provisions. The man said, "This sucketh, and I'm screwed now." So he hauled his sorry butt to the other mans camp and humbled himself before him and the Lord and asked for help. The first man said "Sure thing, dude." and so they were both provided for." So Groundhog asked them, "Which of the two men were truly prepared for the storm of oxen poo? Go, and do what you can."



From the book of 1st Opinions, NGV (New Groundhog Version)